


Coward

by tonysleatherjacket



Series: Zalex Prompts [2]
Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-23
Updated: 2018-05-23
Packaged: 2019-05-13 03:18:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14741036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tonysleatherjacket/pseuds/tonysleatherjacket
Summary: For once, Zach doesn't want to be a coward anymore.





	Coward

**Author's Note:**

> You can submit zalex one-shot prompts for me to write in the comments or on my tumblr @tonysleatherjacket

Zach Dempsey sits on the counter of the school bathroom, watching as Alex dabs the little bit of blood still seeping through his cuts.  He looks kind of different up close, he notices. He has really long lashes, and his eyes are a bright blue, like the color of a perfect ocean. Not polluted and slightly murky, but like the clearest of waters.

Alex holds the wet paper towel to his forehead, pressing down to get the blood to stop, and he looks at Zach with an unreadable expression. Funny how it angered Zach that Alex was so guarded all the time, when he was the exact same way. He didn’t easily open up to people. For the most part, he never had a clue what Alex was thinking.

“Thanks for doing this.” Zach says.                     

Alex shrugs. “All you jocks bleed so much, you’d think you’d know how to clean simple cuts and wounds.”

“Well, they don’t call jocks dumb for nothing.” Zach laughs and the corners of Alex’s lips lift slightly, like he’s trying to hold back a smile.

Alex pulls the towel away, and waits, looking at the cut on Zach’s forehead to make sure the bleeding has stopped completely. Zach suddenly feels a little self-conscious, like he’s under a microscope, and Alex has the ability to examine him closely. He finds himself feeling uneasy at the thought of anyone getting to know him too much. The only person he had really opened up to was Hannah, and look at what had happened between them. He was too much of a coward for his friends to know they were dating. He could tell himself all he wanted that it was to protect her, to not destroy her reputation or whatever even more. But that was just an excuse. The main reason he didn’t want to tell anyone was because he didn’t want to deal with his friends’ reaction. What Justin would say, what Bryce would say.

“Okay, I got the bleeding to stop.” Alex says, pulling Zach away from his thoughts.

He throws the small pile of bloodied paper towels into the trash and washes his hands. Then he gets more paper towels, dampening them with water and adding soap. Zach tries not to stare as Alex begins cleaning the cuts on his face.

“Back there, during the fight…”

“It was pretty crazy, huh?” Alex answers.

“Yeah, but I wanted to ask you…” Alex meets Zach’s gaze and he swears, his stomach lurches the moment their eyes meet; bright blue and brown so dark they’re almost black.

“What were you doing trying to join in, Al? Why didn’t you just stay back?”

Alex breaks his gaze away, and stares intently at a cut near his eyebrow like it needs all the attention in the world. “I did, at first.”

“Yeah, but then you came at Monty when he had me on the ground. I was handling myself just fine, you didn’t have to do that. You shouldn’t have.”

Alex blinks and glares at Zach, pausing from cleaning the cuts. “Why? Because I’m no help, right? With my fucking leg.”

“No, Alex, that’s not what I meant.”

“Of course it is. I mean, all I did was get one good whack at him with my cane. At least I didn’t end up like the first time.” He says, talking about the fight he and Monty had gotten into outside of school, the one where Alex had been beaten to almost nothing. He wished he had said something, done something. But he just let it happen, everyone did. Because he was a coward, never being able to stand up to his supposed friends.

“Why didn’t you just stay back? You could’ve gotten seriously hurt.”

“I had to.” Alex says simply, shrugging. He goes back to cleaning the last few of Zach’s cuts.

“Okay, what does that mean? Like, you had to protect me or something, huh?” Alex actually smiles this time.

“Seeing Monty over you, it made me think of that day in the parking lot. And it triggered something I’d forgotten.”

Zach leans forward, closer to Alex. “Well that’s good, right? You’re remembering things.”

Alex shakes his head, pinching the wet towel between his fingers. “What I remembered, it was bad, Zach.”

“Meaning…?”

Alex throws the paper towel on the counter, a hand reaching out instinctively to clutch his cane for balance. “Meaning I remembered that party. _Bryce’s party_.”

“You mean the one where he…”

“Yeah.”

“What about it?” Zach questions him.

“I was with Monty in the pool house. I thought everyone else had gone home.” He avoids Zach’s questioning gaze, staring down at the floor.

“And?” Zach probes.

“And well, obviously I thought wrong. I wasn’t paying attention, I was playing a stupid fucking video game, and we started hearing something. Monty looked out the window, and said it was Bryce with some girl. I didn’t know that it was…I didn’t know he was…” Alex stops, choking on his words.

“Shit.” Zach reaches out to place a hand on Alex’s arm. “What happened wasn’t your fault though, you know that right?”

Alex doesn’t say anything, just nods his head quickly. He looks like he’s close to tears.

“You can’t blame yourself for that.”

Alex blinks quickly and looks everywhere else except for Zach.

“Is that what you meant when you said you could have stopped it?”

“Yeah.”

Zach rubs circular motions into Alex’s arm. Jesus. No wonder he had felt so guilty about Hannah’s death. A large part of her decision was based on her rape, and if Alex could have prevented that from happening somehow, maybe things would have happened differently. But you can’t get caught up in that shit. Maybe if he just knew how to grow a freaking pair, Zach could have told people he was dating Hannah. He could have told her he had real feelings for her. That he truly wanted to be with her. Maybe then she wouldn’t have done what she did. But each person Hannah had been affected by, could have done something differently. Jessica could have believed Hannah, Tony could have listened to the tapes sooner. Thinking about what you could’ve done differently was no help to anyone. It didn’t do anything.

“It’s okay, Alex.”

“You don’t like, hate me now?” Alex questions, looking up at Zach with the saddest face he had ever seen. It made his heart break.

“No. I could never.”

Alex nods, but the tears seem to fall anyway. He lets go of his cane to wipe his eyes, but in doing so he loses his balance, and he starts to stumble until Zach catches him, and holds him upright. It clearly embarrasses Alex, but at least it makes him stop crying.

“I’m sorry. My fucking leg.” He mumbles.

“Don’t be.” And that’s when Zach decides to stop being a coward.

“Mmph-“ Alex squeaks in surprise as Zach kisses him.

Zach’s heartbeat thumps wildly, so loud it’s the only thing he hears. One arm encircles Alex’s waist to keep him upright, and his other hand fits perfectly in the space where is jawline meets his neck. He tries to put forth all of his feelings, months and months of secret pining and crushing, into the kiss. It takes a few seconds for Alex to respond, who was probably cut way off guard, but then he kisses Zach back hesitantly.

Alex fully leans into him, and Zach spreads his thighs apart for Alex to fit between them. The kiss starts off insistently, until they both relax into each other. Their mouths fit perfectly. Alex tastes like Cool Ranch Doritos, and it makes him smile into the kiss. His fingers graze through the hair at the back of Zach’s neck. They kiss until they have to break apart to catch their breath.

"Shit." Alex gasps, grinning. His cheeks are flushed pink, and his lips look a little swollen. 

"Shit indeed."


End file.
